4 years sober + 4 tips for sobriety without AA Matt Hunt

Above all else, being completely honest with yourself is vital to staying sober, with or without AA. If you’re in denial that you have a drinking problem and don’t fully believe that it’s something that needs to be fixed, nothing in the world is going to change your alcohol addiction. I quit drinking in 2009 without the help of AA or rehab. There was no intervention, medical crisis or new low that finally spurred me to action. I got sober as I had gotten f-ed up—alone, under my own power.

But AA supporters worked to make sure their approach remained central. Marty Mann joined prominent Americans including Susan Anthony, the grandniece of Susan B. Anthony; Jan Clayton, the mom from Lassie; and decorated military officers in testifying before Congress. John D. Rockefeller Jr., a lifelong teetotaler, was an early booster of the group. Religious fervor, aided by the introduction of public water-filtration systems, helped galvanize the temperance movement, which culminated in 1920 with Prohibition. That experiment ended Sober House after 14 years, but the drinking culture it fostered—secrecy and frenzied bingeing—persists. He’s a fast talker and has the lean, sinewy build of a distance runner. His choice of profession seems preordained, as he speaks in fully formed paragraphs, his thoughts organized by topic sentences. He’s also a worrier—a big one—who for years used alcohol to soothe his anxiety. If you’re struggling with issues mentioned in this story and you would like to connect with others online, join USA TODAY’s “I Survived It” Facebook support group.

The Importance of Friends in Recovery

Recover from addiction at home with medication and online therapy––from the leader in virtual addiction care. There are sober coaches, counselors, and psychologists out there happy to support you on your recovery journey. •Smart Recovery is a self-empowering addiction recovery support group. Being honest with yourself means asking, “Am I ready for this? ” Maybe your family drinks to celebrate the holidays, or your high school friends want to meet at a bar stay sober without aa over winter break. Drugs and alcohol might havelimitedyour options for fun and recreation. You might have only socialized in clubs, bars, or parties. Now, you can get into differentexperiencesthat will add fun, value, and friendships to your life. You can be sober and happy by focusing on your health and wellness in your everyday life. Seeking a support group committed to helping others can be a beneficial and cost-effective way for you to stay sober.

• As with most elements of AA, choosing a sponsor is a very informal and easy process.
• My life is good and I am a stable, strong and successful woman… a far cry from the shy young woman who could not cope with her life so many years ago.
• I am grateful for the program for helping ,e to realize my sobriety – now I’m off to live it.
• How is a newcomer supposed to know how to find an “appropriate” sponsor?

My first sponsor dropped me like the proverbial bad habit and then acted like it was my fault when I failed to acknowledge her subtle hints that she no longer wanted to sponsor me. When I said I thought I really ought to learn to stand on my own two feet she said, oh, no, you can’t work the program without a sponsor. So I’m supposed to set myself up for yet another failed friendship? Congratulations to sober alcoholics leaving aa. We don’t need anyone micromanaging our recovery. We can be full-fledged responsible people fully capable of making sound, reasonable decisions. When you have substance abuse problems, your life revolves around alcohol or drug abuse. This means that you find yourself with a lot of free time when you decide to live a sober life. Developing new healthy habits can help you manage stress and distract you from negative feelings. This could be joining a new club, starting a new hobby, or engaging in recreational activities.

Secular Organizations for Sobriety

The group also focuses on individual strengths, not weaknesses, as a way to inspire change in the fellow members of the community. Use our form below to speak with an addictions specialist today. Let our team of experts in the addiction field help point you in the right direction. Keeping in shape is a huge part of getting clean. Studies show that certain brain chemicals play a role in addiction. Regular exercise helps balance these chemicals. It also promotes confidence and structure, which are important to recovery. Our helpline is offered at no cost to you and with no obligation to enter into treatment. All Alcoholrehabhelp content is medically reviewed or fact checked to ensure as much factual accuracy as possible.

Café Re acknowledges that it is very difficult to quit drinking by yourself. That’s why this community is a private, confidential Facebook group for those who want to find a new life. Its goal is to get rid of the stigma surrounding alcohol use disorder for everyone who wants to quit, including those who have failed once or twice before (like the community’s founder, Paul). Soberocity could be a great solution for you if you’re looking for an online community that occasionally also has live events across the country. The Gratitude List and many other forum posts and chats. The forums of Sober Recovery are a great place for people with substance use disorder to find assistance and helpful information. The community has more than 168,000 people who are recovering from substance use disorder and/or codependence, as well as their friends and family.

Living a chaotic or disorganized lifestyle can be detrimental to staying sober. It’s essential to create a daily and weekly schedule; maybe this is waking up and going to sleep at the same time every day. You have cut out your toxic relationships and maybe find it hard to make new friends. Joining a support group can help you meet new people while supporting you in dealing with your substance use disorder. If you decide after reading this article that it’s not for you, either, there is nothing wrong with that. There are plenty of alternatives and many, many treatment facilities offer these alternatives.

During group therapy, you get the benefits of support while getting professional help. However, group therapy is usually only temporary and not meant for lifetime support. Group therapy can also be costly if your insurance does not cover the costs. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration offers a list of online recovery resources. You can explore different types ofsupport groupsthat might help you in your long-term sobriety. Some support groups, likeSMART Recovery, do not use the 12-Step model. “SMART” stands for “Self-Management and Recovery Training.” SMART Recovery focuses more on building coping skills for everyday life and does not focus on a higher power.

Is It Really Possible To Live a Sober Life?

They don’t see you, a specific, unique person burdened with a wily, tenacious affliction. Methadone is a drug used to treat opioid addiction. As opioid withdrawal symptoms can cause severe physical and mental discomfort, the withdrawal period can leave people vulnerable to relapse. Using methadone or other medications for addiction can help a person…

But some people find that it’s not a good fit for them for different reasons. One of the most common reasons is feeling uncomfortable with religious or spiritual overtones, such as relying on a Higher Power and praying at meetings. The fundamental belief of Alcoholics Anonymous, which is that we shouldn’t drink alcohol 100% of the time, works. I also think that, if possible, it is a great idea to make amends with the people and things that make you feel regret. The most common feedback I’ve received comes from people who want to be sober with others but do not want to partake in Alcoholics Anonymous. I have lost the willingness required to carry on, along with being open in meetings or with other AA clones wanting to drive me back into the rooms. I’d rather be completely free from all the complicated talk and trying to remember all the cliches.

This book that is still used today incorporates the philosophy of AA as well as the famous 12 steps this fellowship uses to overcome addiction. At that point, they’re unable to control their alcohol use which can permanently ruin their health. It is estimated that around 80% of people who find long-term sobriety experienced at least one relapse on their journey. It is essential to believe in your ability and not see relapse as a complete failure. There is always the chance to learn from your setbacks and continue your recovery process. The program only works for some people, and refusing to change dismisses the larger group of people it doesn’t work for in its current form. If the core of AA is meant to help people get and stay sober, it would adapt to a modern world and/or just stop denying that it is a program of God written by two sexist men that died ages ago. So, for this milestone, I’d like to share some insight about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous based entirely on my own experience.

Anyway, I am just happy that I haven’t ended up in a mental hospital or dead like many of the AA members said I would if I left. Grateful to be alive and sober today but really had a problem with the sponsorship deal. How is a newcomer supposed to know how to find an “appropriate” sponsor? I was willing to do what I was told and I really wanted to fit in. The sponsor I picked was someone who really tried to convince me that because I was alcoholic I couldn’t think for myself or trust my own instincts. Well, if she was an alcoholic why would it make sense for me to trust her ideas as to how to work out my program of recovery? Newly sober people who are as confused and demoralized as I was in the beginning of recovery as I was are extremely vulnerable to the whims of controlling sponsors who view their sponsee as some kind of trophy. My decision was finalized when an older man with decades of sobriety decided he wanted to try to “13th” step me.

Read on to find out how evidence-based programs and strong support can help people with AUD get their life back on track. With over 20 years of proven experience, Clearview can help you or a loved one on the path to recovery from a mental health disorder or dual diagnosis. GoodTherapy is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, medical treatment, or therapy. Always seek the advice of your physician or qualified mental health provider with any questions you may have regarding any mental health symptom or medical condition. Never disregard professional psychological or medical advice nor delay in seeking professional advice or treatment because of something you have read on GoodTherapy. After giving meetings another 2 years, I realized AA is not good for growth past a certain point. I don’t want to spend my entire life berating myself as a hopeless, meek, damaged drunk. I wanted to move forward and face bigger challenges, and I have.

My Higher Power concept has always been love, which has not failed me. My problem was the guilt I felt in leaving, because the fellowship had helped me in a time when I was wretched. The thing is, I can help others outside the rooms without being lodged in with those who are intent upon reliving their despair. Perhaps leaving is the ultimate realization of the Promise; I do not regret my past or wish to shut the door on it – BUT I do choose to live without the fear of drinking tomorrow. So great to read everyone’s comments and ideas about why they stayed and why they left. I have just passed the 30 year mark yesterday, and my feeling is so what.